Funny Toon!!!

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The secret  of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

Hospital :)

A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected, or getting worse."

The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"

"Sarah Finkel, room 302."

I'll connect you with the nursing station."

"3rd floor Nursing Station. How can I help You?"

"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302."

"Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon."

The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic .. that's wonderful news!"

The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!"

"Neither! I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me a thing."

Can you figure it out?

I am sending this only to my smart friends. I thought I had figured it out and had a look at the answer only to find I was wrong.
See if you can figure out what these words have in common. 
     
    1 Banana
    2 Dresser
    3 Grammar
    4 Potato
    5 Revive
    6 Uneven
 
          
 Are you peeking or have you already given up? Give it another try.  Look at each word carefully. You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer
 
 Answer:   No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters, nor is it about the vowel arrangements, tempting though they were at first glance. I thought I had it when I saw that the second letter was the same as the last letter but no.
 
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.

Smell & Tell!!!!

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.

The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
   
"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the  menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.

"Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened.

The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.

"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."

"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."

The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."

Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.

The blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.

He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."

Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.

"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here..."

Drunk!!!

One night a man was getting very drunk in a pub. He staggered back to take a piss, whipping his prick out as he went in the door.

However, he had wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman sitting on the can, "This is for ladies!" she screamed.

The drunk waved his prick at her and said "So is this!"

Gyno!!!

A lady went to the gyno for an examination.

As the doctor moved his head down between her legs he said excitedly, "That's the biggest one I've ever seen! That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"

"You didn't have to say it twice!", she said with embarrassment.

"I didn't!" he replied.

Stupid Question!!!!

A guy meets a girl in the bar and she goes home with him. When they are relaxing after making love, he asks, "Am I the first guy you ever made love to?"

She looks at him for a few moments and says, "of course you are!" she said. "Why do you men always ask that same stupid questions?"

Puzzled!!!

A boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look.
"Mom, why is my bigger brother named Thunderstorm?"
She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."
Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?"
She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her."
"And why is my other sister called Moonchild?"
"Because we were watching the moon landing while she was conceived."
Thoughtfully, Mother paused and asked her son, "but why are you so curious, Broken Rubber?"

True Fact - OL :)

Having sex is like playing bridge.If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand

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The secret  of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

Heights of Double Meaning!!!

DAD went to school to get son's report card.
DAD: Mam kab dengi aap?
MAM: Periods khatam hone ke baad.. :-)