For all those FaceBook Lovers!!!

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"Never ignore your gut feelings even in a very complex situation"

Advantage!!!!

Nuns ran an orphanage for girls in a rural part of Georgia. One day, the Mother Superior called in 3 teenage girls who were about to leave and seek their way in life.

"You have led a very sheltered life and you are going into an extremely sinful world." she said. "I must warn you that men will take advantage of you. They'll do anything to get their way. They'll take you to restaurants, buy you drinks and dinner, then back to their apartments and motels where they'll undress you, do terrible things, give you twenty or thirty dollars and kick you out."

"Excuse me, Mother." one of the girls asked. "You mean men will take advantage of us and give us cash?"

"Yes child, why do you ask?"

"Because the priests only give us candy!"

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A good way to change someones attitude is to change our own, because the same sun that melts butter, also hardens clay!

True Fact - OL :)

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does!!!!!!

Successful Man & Woman -OL :)

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Maths - OL :)

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

Some Days!!!

Future - OL :)

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Equations!!!!

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Cookies :)

There was an elderly man at home, upstairs, dying in bed.

He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he died. He fell out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs and crawled into the kitchen where his wife was busily baking cookies.

With his last remaining strength he crawled to the table and was just barely able to lift his withered arm to the cookie sheet. As he grasped a warm, moist chocolate chip cookie, his favorite kind, his wife suddenly whacked his hand with a spatula.

"Don't touch those!" she said, "They are for the funeral."

Wish :)

The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"