Friday, September 16, 2011

Handover - Takeover

Top Indian IT companies are popularly known as SWTICH (Satyam, Wipro, TCS, Infosys, CTS, and HCL). With Satyam debacle, now the name sounds little odd as it has changed into WITCH.

Out of the WITCH companies, Dallal Street was very happy with the performance of TCS and CTS over few quarter/yearly results. There is a mounting pressure on Infosys and Wipro to gear up else CTS is going to overtake them soon. Interestingly, over a year or so we have seen lot of changes in the management and re-organization in both these companies. When I was reading some of the articles on these changes, it reminded me of a management story.

With the changing market scenarios, stiff competition, and declining top and bottom line of the organization, the board has decided to replace the existing CEO to get a fresh perspective and thought leadership. A couple of weeks were given for handover and takeover. On the last day of the handover process, incumbent CEO gives the new CEO three sealed envelopes marked as 1, 2, 3 and asked him to open the envelopes in that order when he encounter a crisis to find a solution.

At the end of the first financial year, there is no improvement in the top or bottom line. In the panic situation CEO before the board meeting opens the first envelope. The letter inside the envelope says “Blame the Predecessor”. He goes to the board meeting and blames the predecessor for the complete mess and he is working on bringing it on track and gets away with this explanation.

About six months later, there is no change in the situation. The CEO opens the second envelope and the letter inside say “Restructure". CEO completely re-organize the business units, people and informs the board that he is getting right people in right place and aligning things that would help the organization to focus more on the customer needs.

At the end of the year, still there is no change in the situation. CEO opens the third envelope before the board meeting and the letter inside says “Prepare three envelopes".

Post re-shared from the blog -http://goo.gl/0dR7w

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Sholay - Na Insaafi !!!

Sholay Film Mein Se Kaata Gaya Ek Dialog

Gabbar: "Goli 6 Or Aadmi 3, Bahut Na Insaafi Hai Re"

Sambha: "Ghanta Na Insaafi Hai, 3 Aadmio Ki 6 Goliya Hi To Hoti Hai Sardar"

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Priceless!!!!

Baba Ek Din Mast Mood Mein Bethe Thhe To Unke Ek Ashiq Mijaj Bhakt Ne Pucha

Bhakt: "Baba Ji, Log Kahte Hai Ki Smile Priceless Hoti Hai, Iska Koi Example Dijiye Na"

Baba : "Dekh Bachha, Is Baat Ko Ese Samajh"

Apni Girl Friend Ke Sath Tu Movie Dekhne Gaya Aur 500 Ki Tickets Li

Fir Uske Saath Sara Din Car Pe Ghuma Aur 700 Ka Petrol Uda Diya

Phir Usko 5 Star Hotel Mein Le Gaya Aur Pahle 500 Rs Ki Coffe Pee Aur Fir 2000 Rs Ka Dinner Kiya.

Aur Usi Hotel Ke Bade Ache Se Room Jiska Rent 5000 Rs Hai Uske Ander Le Gaya.

Aur Girlfriend Ko Bed Pe Lita Ke Jaisi Hi Uski Jeans Khone Laga To Girlfriend Bole: "Nahi Aaj Mere Periods Hai"

Us Time Tu Usko Muskura Ke Dikhayega Aur Jo Tere Chehre Pe Muskaan Hogi Vo Priceless Hi Hogi

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Men will be Men...


Bhagwan Sabse Jyada Dukhi Kab Hote Hai!!!

Jaisa Ki Kal Aapne Pada Ki Teacher Ke Puchne Pe Pappu Ne Bataya Ki Bhagwan Ji Kab Khush Hote Hai.

Teacher Is Jawab Ko Sunkar Khamosh Ho Gayi Aur Socha Ki Pappu Ka Dimag Jyada Hi Kharab Hai Ise Sabak Sikhaya Jaye

To Usne Pucha: "Chal Ab Ye Bata Ki Bhagwan Sabse Jyada Dukhi Kab Hote Hai?"

Pappu Bhi Apna Akhir Pappu Thha Usne Jawab Diya

Pappu: "Jab Koi Ladki Bina Shadi Kiye Pregnent Ho Jati Hai Tab Uski Maa Saara Iljam Bhagwan Ko Dete Hue Kahti Hai, Hey Bhagwan, Ye Tune Kya Kiya?"

Monday, September 12, 2011

Mindset..

Bhagwan Sabse Jyada Khush Kab Hote Honge!!!

Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu (Pappu -apna Indian Little Johnny.) se poocha

Teacher: "Batao Pappu, Bhagwan Sabse Jyada Khush Kab Hote Honge?"

Pappu: "Ji Jab Ek Ladki Ka Rape Ho Raha Ho Aur Vo Chilla Rahi Ho, Please Mujhe Bhagwan Ke Liye Chhod Do"

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Matlab!!!

Baba Se Ek Party Main Unke Ek Naye Naye Bane Bhakat Ne Puchha

Bhakt: "Baba Ji, Ye Sari Ladkiya Darling Darling Kyu Kahti Rahti Hai?"

Baba Ji: "Nadan Bachhe, Vo Jaan Bhuj Ke Esa Karti Hai Aur Angreji Word Use Karti Hai, Par Asal Mein Hindi Mein Uska Matlab Kuch Aur Hota Hai"

Bhakt Hairani Se: "Achhaaa, To Hindi Mein Matlab Kya Hota Hai?"

Baba Muskurate Hue: "Vo Kahna Chahti Hai Ki Dal Ling

Friday, September 9, 2011

Not all blondes are dumb :)

A woman and a man driver are involved in a horrific collision, but amazingly both escape completely unhurt – though their cars are written off.

As they crawl out of the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and strikingly beautiful. Then the woman turns to the man and gushes breathily: 'That's incredible both our cars are demolished but we're fine.

It must be a sign from God that we are meant to be together!'

Sensing a promise, the man stammers back, 'Oh yes, I agree with you completely!'

The woman goes on, 'And look, though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine survived intact, too! It must be another sign. Let's drink to our love!'

'Well, OK!' says the man, going with the moment. She offers him the bottle, so he downs half of it and hands it back.

'Your turn,' says the man.

'No, thanks,' says the woman, 'I think I'll just wait for the police.