ONLY MARRIED :)

An IT services company had a policy of hiring ONLY MARRIED men.

Concerned about this, a local Woman's Liberation Front Leader called on the CEO.

She asked, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Do you consider us women are Weak, Dumb, Tantrum throwers or Bossy?"

"Not at all, Ma'am," the CEO replied. "It is ONLY because our policy is to hire staff :-

-Who are used to obeying orders without questioning,
-Who are accustomed to being bossed over,
-Know how to keep quiet
-Put up with anything when I yell at them.

Men have these qualities so our policy is "GENTLEMEN ONLY LADIES FORBIDDEN"

Confident Vs Confidential!!!

A Young Boy Asks His Dad.

Boy: "What Is The Difference Between Confident And Confidential?"

Dad Smiled And Says: "You Are My Son, I'm Confident About That. Your Friend Over There, Is Also My Son, That's Confidential!"

Study !!!

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the Head of a Weenie was bigger than the rest of it.

After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure.

After the US published the study, France decided to do their own. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure.

Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

Exam Questions :)

An economist returns to visit his old school. He's interested in the current exam questions and asks his old professor to show some.

To his surprise they are exactly the same ones to which he had answered 10 years ago!

When he asks about this the professor answers: "the questions are always the same - only the answers change!"

Question !!!

Question to Savita Bhabhi: What's the difference between being hungry and horny.?
Savita Bhabhi: It depends Where I put the cucumber..!

Three Most Common Words :)

Boy : What are the three most common words in the world these days?

Girl : I LOVE YOU ! . ♥

Boy : No, MADE IN CHINA

Her First Time!!!

The man asks the girl if she's afraid and she shakes her head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and she shivers; her body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply within her eyes and tells her to trust him-he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes her and she opens wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. She begins to plead and begs him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause her as little pain as possible.

As he presses closer, going deeper, she feels the tissue gives way; pain surges throughout her body and she feels the slight trickle of blood as he continues.

He looks at her concerned and asks her if it's too painful. Her eyes are filled with tears but she shakes her head and nods for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but she is now too numb to feel him within her.

After a few moments, she feels something bursting within her and he  pulls it out of her, she lays panting, glad to have it over. He looks at her and smiling warmly, tells her, with a chuckle; that she has been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

She smiles and thanks the dentist. After all, it was her first time to have a tooth pulled

Community Service :)

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asks the barber about his bill. "I'm sorry, I can't accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week."
 
The florist is pleased and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there's a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

Later that day a cop comes in for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber, and the barber replies: "I'm sorry, I can't accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week."

The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.

Later that day a Politician comes for a haircut and when he asks the barber what he owes, the barber replies: "I'm sorry, I can't accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week."

The Politician is very happy and leaves. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there are a dozen Politicians waiting at his door.

Sizes!!!!

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for... It is about time you became informed:

A ... Almost there.
B ... Barely there.
C ... Can't Complain!
D ... Damn!
DD... Double damn!
E ... Enormous!
F ... Fake

Marshmellow !!!

A man is urinating one day when the end of his weenie drops off.

He thinks, "This is probably not a good thing," so he picks up the knobby end and sticks it in his pocket, then races off to the doctor.

He waits in the surgery for a bit, then he's called in.

The doctor greets him and asks, "What's the problem?" "Well, doctor, I was urinating and my knob fell off. Here it is."

And he reaches into his pocket and hands the piece to the doctor.

The doctor looks, frowns, then replies, "What are you talking about? This is a marshmellow!"

"Well, that can't be right! I ate my last marshmellow on the way in here!"