Subscribe!!

Jim says, "My wife lets me subscribe to National Geographic and Playboy for the same reason".

Steve says, "Why's that?"

Jim says, "Because with both magazines, I get to see places I'll never get to visit"

Attention!!

A lady to another,  What do you have when you have two balls in your hand?

Your Hubby's undivided attention!

Propose!!

How boys propose: They bend on one knee, pull out a ring and say, "I love you. Will you marry me?"

How girls propose: I am pregnant.

Coming!!

Eighty two year old Sister Croakster called her home teachers for an emergency blessing, crying, "I think my husband is having a heart attack!"

When the home teachers arrived there it was too late and Brother Croakster had died.

While consoling the wife one of the home teachers noticed that the bed was a mess. He asked the distraught woman what symptoms her husband had suffered and if anything had precipitated the heart attack.

Sister Croakster replied, "Well, we had our gaments half off and we were in the bed making love and he started moaning, groaning, thrashing about the bed, panting, and sweating. I thought he was coming, but I guess he was going.

Thought!!

Husband: If I sleep with your best friend, what will be the first thought to cross your mind?

Wife: That you are gay.

Beautiful & Innocent !!

All girls are beautiful, after the lights are switched off! -Shakespeare.

All boys are innocent, before the lights are switched off! -Shakespeare's wife.

Proud!!

In a bar an American, an Italian, a Turki and an Indian (santa) met.

American: "I'm proud of our CIA, they know whatever is happening in the world, often before it happens."

Italian: "I'm proud of our women; they're the most beautiful and not easy to be had."

Turki: "I'm proud of our carpets, true works of art. No one can make carpets of such high quality." then they all looked at the silent Santa, waiting for his response.

They asked: "what are you proud of?"

Santa: "I'm proud of myself!" they all asked: "why?"

Santa: "yesterday I screwed an Italian woman on a Turkish carpet and the CIA knew nothing about it."

Unopened!!

There lived an old lady in a small English village. In spite of her old age she was still a virgin and was proud of it. Finally, when the time came for her to bid good bye to this world, she instructed her undertaker to inscribe these words on her tomb stone:

"Virgin born, virgin lived and virgin died."

After a while she died, satisfied of her virgin status. The undertaker told his employees to inscribe the message given by the old lady. The employees, lazy and drunk, decided to cut the work short and carved:

"Returned unopened."

Wife :)

Husband asks,Do you know the meaning of WIFE.

It means...Without Information Fighting Every time!

WIFE says No,it means-With Idiot for Ever.

Did you know !!

That the pleasure of romance in the dark is 10 times more than when the light is on.

Taking shower together with your partner increases your love by 20 times.

Now, please don't get excited, it's an advertisement issued by the government to save water and electricity.