Disappointment!!!

Mr. White, the biology professor, at a posh suburban girl's school, asked during class, "Miss Smith, would you name the organ in the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and define the conditions."

Miss Smith gasped, then said snottily, "Mr. White, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you that my parents will hear of this." With that, she sat down red faced.

Unperturbed, Mr. White called on Miss Jones, and asked the same question. Miss Jones, with complete composure replied,"The pupil of the eye, in dim light."

"Correct," said Mr. White. "Now, Miss Smith, I have three things to say to you: one, you have not studied the chapter I assigned. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will someday be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

Two guys at Bar!!!

Two guys are drinking at a bar. The first says "Do you ever start thinking about something, and when you go to talk, you say something you don't mean?"

The Second guy says "Yeah, I was at the airport buying plane tickets, and the chick behind the counter had these huge
tits, and instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pitts-burgh' I asked for 'two tickets to Titsburgh.'"

Parrot!!!

A woman wanted a pet so she went to the local pet shop. She looked at the dogs and the cats but finally settled on a parrot that was perched in the back of the store for $50.00.
She asked the shopkeeper why the parrot was so cheap, to which he replied, "Well, I have to tell you, the birds last owner was a madam at a whorehouse and he occasionally makes off color remarks that may offend some people."
Thinking that the price was right and she could handle anything he might say, she took him. When she got home she set the bird down on the table. He looked around and said, "New house, new madam".
"That's not so bad," she thought.
A little while later, her daughters got home from school, and the parrot spoke again, "New house, new madam, new whores."
Even though she felt a little insulted, she thought that wasn't so bad either.
Later that evening, her husband Ray came home.
The parrot again spoke out...
This time it said, "Hi Ray!"
The woman met with a divorce attorney the next day.

Waist!!!

Q: Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waste (waist)?
A: Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

Camping!!!

Three couples went camping only to discover that only two tents were packed for the trip. After a short discussion it was decided that the men would sleep in one tent while the women would share the other.

At about 2:00 am John was awakened by Bob, who was sleeping beside him, with a huge erection in his hand.

"Look the size of this, it must be all the fresh air, I'm going over to visit my wife!" Bob exclaimed.

"Would you like me to come with you?" John asked.

"Why would I want you to come?" Bob asked.

"Because that's my thing that you are holding in your hand."

A little child's prayer

"Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer...


. .Amen" !!!

Appendix :)

Once a doctor got a telephone call in the middle of night. The caller sounded very excited. "Doctor, please come at once. My wife is in great pain and I am sure it is appendicitis" , he said.

The doctor assured him that there was no need to panic. "I will come in the morning." The man protested, "But doctor, my wife is really serious."

The doctor replied, "I took out your wife's appendix two years ago. She can not have another."

The caller protested, "That is alright doctor, but now I have got another wife!"

Share it, if you like it..

To get married!!!

A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her.
She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively,
"I suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?" He tells her that not only is the girl Jewish but from a
wealthy Beverly Hills family. She admits she is overwhelmed by the news, and asks, "What is her name?"
He answers, "Monica Lewinsky".
There is a pause, then his mother asks, "What happened to that nice boy you were dating last year?"

Policy :)

A man stubbed his toe so badly he decided to go to the doctor.
When he arrived at the office, the nurse directed him to remove his clothes and wait in the next room.
"I just hurt my toe," complained the man. "Why do I need to take off my clothes?"
"Everyone who sees the doctor has to undress," explained the nurse politely. "It's our policy."
"Well, I think it's a stupid policy! Making me undress just to look at my toe! Geeez!"
From the next room another man's voice piped up. . . "That's nothing! I just came here to fix the telephone!

Cardiologist Funeral!!!

A Cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.

When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral......I'm a Gynecologist. "

The Proctologist fainted.