HEIGHTS OF COMMUNICATION GAP!!!!

Mr. Babu comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to
have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs.Babu receives a telephone call from K.S.E.B. (Kerala State Electricity Board) because the electricity bill has not been paid.
"Am I speaking to Mrs. Babu?"
"Yes...... speaking"
KSEB guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the KSEB guy.
"What are you saying? It's in your files......HOW?????"
"Yes ... We have a system of finding out who's overdue"
"GOD!!!!!!.. ....... This is too much........ .."

"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders...... I have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that. Let me talk to my husband about this tonight. .... He will speak to your company tomorrow"

That night, she tells her husband about the call, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to KSEB office the next day morning.
"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?
What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at KSEB, "it'snothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a CANDLE."

Survey!!!!

We recently conducted a survey as to whether men prefer women with large thighs or women with thin thighs. The results were pretty surprising.

10 percent of those men surveyed preferred women with large thighs.

10 percent of the men preferred women with thin thighs.

And the other 80 percent preferred what's in-between.

Irresistible Irony :)

About a year had passed since my amicable divorce, and I decided it was time to start dating again.
Unsure how to begin, I thought I'd scan the personals column of my local newspaper.
I came across three men who seemed like they'd be promising candidates.
A couple of days later, I was checking my answering machine and discovered a message from my ex-husband.
"I was over visiting the kids yesterday," he said. "While I was there I happened to notice you had circled some ads in the paper.
Don't bother calling the guy in the second column.
I can tell you right now it won't work out.
That guy is me."

Outdated MSN Web Messenger To Die On 30 June!

Monday, June 29, 2009: The software giant Microsoft has finally
decided to shut down its veteran web-based messenger service 'MSN Web
Messenger' on 30 June 2009. MSN Web Messenger launched back in August
2004. In fact, the company will replace the old messenger platform MSN
by the new IM in the Windows Live Hotmail.

"With new web-based instant messaging (IM) now available in Windows
Live Hotmail worldwide, we are preparing to retire MSN Web Messenger.
The old MSN Web Messenger experience will end on June 30, 2009,"
states Windows Live blog.

With Hotmail's new web-based IM, you can chat from your Hotmail inbox
or contact list, instead of going to MSN Web Messenger. Go directly to
the Windows Live People page and sign into Messenger (orange arrow in
the picture below) to continue instant messaging on the web with your
Messenger friends.

"Instant messaging from Hotmail makes it easier to communicate and
share in new ways in comparison to MSN Web Messenger," the company
claims. "Give it a try! We hope that you'll enjoy Hotmail's web-based
IM, the new version of Messenger on the web."

MSN Web Messenger is one of the last remaining MSN branded web
applications still available, with other online services such as
Hotmail and software such as Messenger itself having moved to the
Windows Live brand several years ago, reports Neowin.

In addition to MSN Messenger, June 30 is also the last date for
Microsoft Money, Microsoft Encarta and Windows Live OneCare.

Communication!!!!

The Indian Lover, a virile middle aged Indian gentlemen named Guluh was relaxing at his favorite bar in Mumbai when he managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman. Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?"
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."
Surprised, Guluh reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Guluh smiled and asked, "You finish?"
Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, "No."
Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guluh reached for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.
Exhausted, Guluh fell onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, "You finish?"
Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispered in his ear, "No, I Norwegian"

Insurance!!!!

A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them $50.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and  we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare."

Lady aspirant!!!!

The Boss to a lady aspirant to the post of a Secretary:
Boss: "What is the difference between a paper clip and a screw?"
Lady: "I do not know. I have never been paper clipped"

Imagination!!!!

A therapist told a woman to use some imagination while making love with her husband to spice things up.

She replied, "You mean like imagine that it's good?"

Meera Nair!!!!

Meera Nair made a movie on lesbians and named it Fire.Wat will she name a movie on gays? Back Fire?

The usual Banta -------------------------

Banta to his wife: Life after marriage to you has become like a dog.

Wife: How can you compare yourself to a dog? Dog sticks and maintains for an hour and you start farting in a minute