Strong Man!!

Dost kabhi nahin badalte...!!!

RESULT AGAR ACHCHA HO:
Maa - Bhagwan ki kripa hai.
Papa - Beta Kiska Hai.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete hain.

RESULT AGAR BURA HO:
Maa - Aag lage is mobile main.
Papa - Laad pyar ne bigaad diya.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete hain.

BIRTHDAY PER:
Maa - Jug jug jiye mera beta.
Papa - Hamesha aage badhe.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete hain.

LOVE MAIN FAIL HONE PER:
Maa - Beta Bhool ja usko.
Papa - Mard ban.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete hain.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Duniya badal jati hai par DOST kabhi nahin badalte...

Chance favors the prepared mind :)

A traveler was stumbling through the desert; desperate for water, then he saw something, far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out.

The parched wanderer asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?" The man replied "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your clothes. "The desperate man shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!"

"OK, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 5 miles, is a nice restaurant.Walk that way, they'll give you all the water you want."

The man thanked the peddler and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared out of sight.

Three hours later he returned. The man at the card table asked, "I told you, about 5 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?"

"I found it all right. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."

Button!!!

Mr. Smith comes to his wife, "Honey, could you be sewing on a wee button that's come off of my fly? I cannot button my pants."

"Oh Dear ... I've got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs and see if Mrs. Jones could be helping you with it."

About five minutes later there's a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling down the stairs. Walking back in the door with a blackened eye and a bloody nose comes Mr. Smith. Mrs. Smith looks at him and says, "My god, what happened to you? Did you ask her like I told you?"

"Yeah," says Mr. Smith. "I asked her to sew on the wee button and she did. Everything was going fine but when she bent on to bite off the wee thread, Mr. Jones walked in..."

Chief!!!

A group of men go pheasant hunting and don't even see a single bird. At the motel that night they decide that they need a hunting dog. They find a place that rents hunting dogs in the yellow pages and go there the next morning.

The owner shows them a couple of dogs and says that they are $5 a day. Then he shows them a dog and says that he is $50 a day. They protest and the owner makes them a deal. He says that they can take the dog for the day and when they bring him back they can pay him what they think he was worth.

So they decide to try him. Before leaving they ask for the dogs name and the owner says it is Old Fireman. They end up having the best day of hunting they have ever had in there lives.

The next year they return to the same place and say they want to rent Old Fireman. But the owner says: "Ok, but he will be $5 a day." The men ask what had happened since last year he was $50 a day.

The owner says: "After you rented him last year a group of firemen rented him and got to calling him Chief. Now all he will do is sit on his a*s and bark."

Trap!!!

Wife was sure that her husband was cheating on her with the maid so she laid a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend & didn't tell the husband. That night when they went to bed the husband gave the old story:

Excuse me my dear, my stomach, & went to the bathroom.

The wife promptly went into the maid's bed. She switched the lights off. When in he came silently, He wasted no time or words but quickly got on top of her... When he finished & still panting, the wife said: You didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you? & switched on the light...

No madam, Said the gardener …

Sin

Unity :)

TEMPLE - 6 letter word
MOSQUE - 6 letter word
CHURCH - 6 letter word

GEETA - 5 letter word
QURAN - 5 letter word
BIBLE - 5 letter word...

even letters r in unity, why can't we??

Kiss!!!

A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. "What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So, she does.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

Corporate Zodiac :)

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing, which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.

SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree," you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can " concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the heck can tell?! It is written that the geeks shall inherit the Earth.

ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that ninety percent of all personal ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets.

ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.

HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, and mail a letter!

MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/"TEAM LEADS": Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."

SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager."

CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to date your boss.