Matrimony -OL!!

The wives to survive matrimony have to be good in the kitchen or in the bedroom.

Doctor :)

'I'm sorry,' said the doctor to the distraught woman, 'but I'm afraid that your husband has passed away.'

'Oh no I haven't!' came a voice from the bed.

'Be quiet, George,' snapped his wife. 'The doctor knows best'.

Point to ponder!!

Instead of learning unconditional love and loyalty from Dogs, the only thing people learn is doggy style!

Relationship!!

Man to a super cute air hostess: What's your name?

Air Hostess: Eva Benz

Man: Lovely name. Any relationship with Mercedes Benz?

Air Hostess: Our maintenance cost is the same!

Similarity!!

What's similar between Amul butter and Women?

Both are Utterly Butterly Delicious, one on bread and the other on bed.

They're even better when spread well!

Infidel Wife!

A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife.

"Please describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife's fidelity."

"Well, I'm pretty much on the road all week," the man testified. "So naturally when I am home, I'm attentive to the wife.

"One Sunday morning," he continued, "we were in the midst of some pretty heavy love-making when the old lady in the apartment next door pounded on the wall and yelled, 'Can't you at least stop all that racket on the weekends?'"

Respect :)

Customer asked to the shopkeeper: "What do you have for graying hair?" 

The Shopkeeper replied:"Highest respect Sir."

Practical Man!!

A man goes to the chemist to buy his wife some Tampax, and asks the assistant where they are. 

He returns to the counter with a pack of cotton wool, the assistant tells him they are not Tampax, to which he replies, 

"When I sent her out for a packet of cigarettes, she came back with tobacco, so this time she can roll her own!"

Vacation!!

A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 13th child.

"Congratulations," said the nurse, "but don't you think this is enough?"

The woman replied, "Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year."

Best Friends!!

After dinner and a movie, Carl drove his date to a quiet country road and made his move. When Mary responded enthusiastically to his kissing, he tried sliding his hand up her blouse. Suddenly, she jerked away, got out of the car is a hurry, and ran home.

Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "A girl's best friends are her own two legs." 

On their next date, Carl returned to the country road. As they were kissing passionately, Carl slid his hand up Mary's skirt. Once again, she pulled away, got out of the car, and hurried home.

Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "I repeat, a girl's best friends are her own two legs."

On the third date, the pair returned to the country road. This time, Mary didn't get home until very late.

That night, she wrote in her diary, "There comes a time when even the best of friends must part."