Washing machine!!

A man is walking behind his wife.

After few minute he notice something and says "baby you are so fat now your bum looks like a washing machine."

The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking.

Bed time, the man asks for and the woman says: "I can't start the washing machine for such a small load. You'll have to hand wash!"

Where there is a will, there is a way!!

Newly married couple kept making love round the clock

They became weak but didn't stop. They consulted a doctor.

Doctor said: "have it only on those days which have 'r' in it, ie, Thursday, Friday or Saturday.

Couple agreed

On Monday husband asks his wife: "darling what's the day today?"

Wife gives a naughty smile & says: "somvaaR"

Moral: "if there is a will then there is a way..!"

Jiyo India Jiyo :)

Ek baar jab main bimaar tha, main ek bahut bade hospital mein gaya,

Waha do darwaze the..

Ek par "khas bimari" aur dusre par "mamuli bimari" likha tha,

Mujhe mamuli bimari thi isliye main mamuli bimari wale room mein chala gaya..

Waha bhi do darwaze the ek par "khas admi" aur dusre par "aam admi" likha tha..

Main thehra gharib, isliye aam admi wale darwaze se andar chala gaya,

Andar gaya to dekha ke main hospital se bahar tha.

Jiyo india…

 

List!!

Girls Valentine Preparation List

Get Hair Done

Get New Make-Up

Get New Dress

Manicure/pedicure

Boys Valentine Day Preparation List

Buy Condys

Typo!!

An Epic typo read on FB!

"By the greece of God we are blessed with a baby boy" !!

Designs!!

The Quality Control Inspector in a bakery catches an old doddering employee using his false teeth to make design on the edge of apple pies.

She roars "Haven't you got a tool?"

"Yes", he replies. "But I use that for the doughnuts!"

Inter Office Memo!!

Dear Employees,

We do get to know when you're browsing messages and internet during the meetings. Because seriously, no one looks at their private parts and smiles!

Scared :)

Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death ... we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

6-inch Putt!!

A couple are playing in the annual golf club championship. They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make.

She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses, they lose the match.

On the way home in the car her husband is fuming, "I can't believe you missed that putt! That putt was no longer than my 'willy'."

The wife just looked over at her husband and smiled and said, "Yes dear, but it was much harder!

Name :)

Damn these Punjabis names. I don't know if I should look forward to this meeting with Gurpreet or not !!