Treatment!!

A Couple in a train

Girl- My Hand Is Paining,

Boy Kisses The Hand,

Girl- My Neck Is Paining,

Boy Kisses The Neck,

An Old Man asks the boy,

Son, Do you also treat Piles.

Valid Question!!

​Dad: Why did the Grammar Teacher slap you yesterday?

Son: Just wanted to clear my doubts... asked her a valid question for which she had no answer so she took out her frustration by being furious violently.

Dad : what was the question ???

Son: I asked her why Bra is Singular when it covers two items & Panties Plural when it covers only one ? '​​

First Installment!!

Girlfriend got into road accident. the girlfriend needed blood to save her life and the boyfriend donated his blood. 

Some times later they broke up and the boyfriend became angry and told the girl to return him back his blood.

Following month the boyfriend got a mail package from the girlfriend. he opened it and it was containing a used pad and a note saying, "I'll be paying your blood monthly, so here's my first installment."

Appendix!!

My Bengali colleague told me today that he had an "Open-Dicks Operation".

I think, he meant Appendix!

Leave!!

A young officer told his Commanding Officer on not being granted leave, Sir, you are now behaving like a Negro's left ball"".

CO: What the heck do you mean?

Officer: Sir, neither you are fair nor you are right!

Eating Bananas!

"Good evening ladies," Sherlock Holmes said as he passed three women eating bananas on a park bench.

"Do you know them?" Dr. Watson asked. "No," Holmes replied, "I've never met the nun, the prostitute or the bride we just passed."

"Good Lord, Holmes, how in the world did you know all that?"

"Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun ate the banana by holding it one hand and using the fingers of the other hand to properly break the fruit into small pieces."

"The prostitute," he continued, "grabbed with both hands and crammed the whole thing into her mouth."

"Amazing!" Watson exclaimed. "But how did you know the third was a newlywed?"

"Because she held it one hand and pushed her head toward it with the other."

Love and Death!!

A boy ask a question to his friend

Boy: "Bro, just tell me what is love and death."

Friend: "It's so simple, love is when your girlfriend catches you naked with another woman and tells you baby dress up, let's go home we are already late"

And death is "when you follow her home."

End the relationship!!

Girlfriend: "I want to end our relationship, I am going to return everything you gave me"

Boyfriend: "OK, then let's start with kisses"

Rare Erection!!

A furious pounding in a hotel room late at night awakened a number of guests.

The hotel manager was called, and he let himself into the room.

Inside, he found an elderly man cursing and banging away on the wall with both fists.

"Stop that!" the manager ordered. "You're disturbing the whole hotel."

"Damn the hotel!" the elderly man spat. "It's the first erection I've had in years, and both my hands are asleep."

Arthritis!!!

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, "Arthritis"