Strong Man!!

Dost kabhi nahin badalte...!!!

RESULT AGAR ACHCHA HO:
Maa - Bhagwan ki kripa hai.
Papa - Beta Kiska Hai.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete hain.

RESULT AGAR BURA HO:
Maa - Aag lage is mobile main.
Papa - Laad pyar ne bigaad diya.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete hain.

BIRTHDAY PER:
Maa - Jug jug jiye mera beta.
Papa - Hamesha aage badhe.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete hain.

LOVE MAIN FAIL HONE PER:
Maa - Beta Bhool ja usko.
Papa - Mard ban.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete hain.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Duniya badal jati hai par DOST kabhi nahin badalte...

Chance favors the prepared mind :)

A traveler was stumbling through the desert; desperate for water, then he saw something, far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out.

The parched wanderer asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?" The man replied "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your clothes. "The desperate man shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!"

"OK, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 5 miles, is a nice restaurant.Walk that way, they'll give you all the water you want."

The man thanked the peddler and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared out of sight.

Three hours later he returned. The man at the card table asked, "I told you, about 5 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?"

"I found it all right. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."

Button!!!

Mr. Smith comes to his wife, "Honey, could you be sewing on a wee button that's come off of my fly? I cannot button my pants."

"Oh Dear ... I've got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs and see if Mrs. Jones could be helping you with it."

About five minutes later there's a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling down the stairs. Walking back in the door with a blackened eye and a bloody nose comes Mr. Smith. Mrs. Smith looks at him and says, "My god, what happened to you? Did you ask her like I told you?"

"Yeah," says Mr. Smith. "I asked her to sew on the wee button and she did. Everything was going fine but when she bent on to bite off the wee thread, Mr. Jones walked in..."

Chief!!!

A group of men go pheasant hunting and don't even see a single bird. At the motel that night they decide that they need a hunting dog. They find a place that rents hunting dogs in the yellow pages and go there the next morning.

The owner shows them a couple of dogs and says that they are $5 a day. Then he shows them a dog and says that he is $50 a day. They protest and the owner makes them a deal. He says that they can take the dog for the day and when they bring him back they can pay him what they think he was worth.

So they decide to try him. Before leaving they ask for the dogs name and the owner says it is Old Fireman. They end up having the best day of hunting they have ever had in there lives.

The next year they return to the same place and say they want to rent Old Fireman. But the owner says: "Ok, but he will be $5 a day." The men ask what had happened since last year he was $50 a day.

The owner says: "After you rented him last year a group of firemen rented him and got to calling him Chief. Now all he will do is sit on his a*s and bark."

Trap!!!

Wife was sure that her husband was cheating on her with the maid so she laid a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend & didn't tell the husband. That night when they went to bed the husband gave the old story:

Excuse me my dear, my stomach, & went to the bathroom.

The wife promptly went into the maid's bed. She switched the lights off. When in he came silently, He wasted no time or words but quickly got on top of her... When he finished & still panting, the wife said: You didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you? & switched on the light...

No madam, Said the gardener …

Sin

Unity :)

TEMPLE - 6 letter word
MOSQUE - 6 letter word
CHURCH - 6 letter word

GEETA - 5 letter word
QURAN - 5 letter word
BIBLE - 5 letter word...

even letters r in unity, why can't we??

Kiss!!!

A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. "What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So, she does.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

Corporate Zodiac :)

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing, which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.

SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree," you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can " concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the heck can tell?! It is written that the geeks shall inherit the Earth.

ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that ninety percent of all personal ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets.

ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.

HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, and mail a letter!

MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/"TEAM LEADS": Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."

SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager."

CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to date your boss.

Nurse!!!

A man is lying in bed in the ICU with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young blonde student nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young girl replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."

He struggles again to ask,"Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Finally she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a closer look and says,"They look very good to me," after giving then her expert blonde scrutiny.

Finally the mans pulls off his oxygen mask and replies,

"That was very nice but, I asked ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK?"

Policies and Procedures :)

In this experiment they put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling.

Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable.

Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up.

Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious, but, undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder.

All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why. However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.

A second original monkey is removed and replaced.

The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him.

This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it.

However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey.

One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced, eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder.

All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.

AND THAT'S HOW VERY MANY COMPANY POLICIES & PROCEDURES GET ESTABLISHED.

Vets waiting room!!!

Three people, 2 men and 1 woman, and their dogs are in the Vets waiting room. The first man's dog asked the second man's dog what he's there for. They are putting me down.

Oh no, says the first dog, why?

The second dog says, Well, you see... I've been chasing the Postman for years. Yesterday, I finally caught him, and bit him. So, I'm going to be put to sleep.

The second dog says, Well, my master just completely remodeled the inside of his house. I didn't like it because my scent wasn't anywhere, anymore. So, when he went to bed last night, I pissed on everything I could find, to get my scent back. This morning, my master found out what I had done, so he is putting me to sleep also.

The third dog said, This is my masters new girlfriend. She runs around the house all the time without her clothes. This makes me very horny. So, this morning, as she was getting out of the shower, and bent over to wipe up the water on the floor. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I jumped on her a gave it to her good! The other dogs say, so' that's why they are putting you to sleep? No says the dog, She is bringing me here to get my toe-nails clipped!

Neighbour!!!

India: Hungering for change

Join the second freedom movement of our country

http://www.facebook.com/IndiACor

http://indiaagainstcorruption.org/

Tax evasion and corruption have cost India hundreds of billions of dollars, Some of the corruption facts about our country

• Transparency International ranked India 87th out of 178 countries on its 2010 International Corruption Perceptions Index.
• India tops the list for black money in the entire world with almost US$1456 billion in Swiss banks (USD 1.4 trillion approximately)
• According to the data provided by the Swiss Banking Association Report  India has more black money than the rest of the world combined.
• Indian Swiss bank account assets are worth 13 times the country's national debt
• India's underground economy has been estimated to account for 50% of the country's GDP - $640bn at the end of 2008.