Laughing :)

Laughing is the best medicine. Unless you hear someone laugh under your bed at midnight, when you stay alone.

Masters -OL:)

Men are masters of full stop and women are masters of comma.

Gulab jamun!!

Men who lap up the sugar syrup after having eaten the gulab jamun are the ones from whom their wives' sisters must keep safe distance

BSNL :)

Its high time they should officially change the full form of BSNL from 'Bharat Sanchar Nigam Ltd' to 'Bhai Sahab Nahi Lagega'

Defective!!

​Husband: Why are the ​​defective cond​y's lying on the sofa..??

Wife: What. . .Where. . .??

Wife goes to find them and comes back angrily saying: "I will kill​ you if ​y​ou don't stop calling our children - defective Condy's"

Mastercard Redefined :)

​​There are somethings money can buy. For everything else there are tears." - Women

Which end?

My Teacher pointed at me with a ruler and said: "At the end of this ruler is an idiot"

I still don't get why I got rusticated. I only asked him, "Which end, Sir?"

Affair!!

Wife: I have a proof that you're having an extra-marital affair with our neighbor's wife.

Husband: What's the proof?

Wife: Last night, the guy came to our house wearing your underwear!

Law :)

Law says that the boss is responsible for the subordinates' misconduct - which means that my wife is responsible for my misdeeds

Law :)

Law says that the boss is responsible for the subordinates' misconduct - which means that my wife is responsible for my misdeeds

Did you notice!!

Before your boss, its the fire extinguisher which abuses you as soon as you enter the office premises with "BC" written over it.

Silence :)

Boss: How can we reduce manpower to cut cost?

Me: Boss, you are the highest paid employee of the organisation. Please understand

Merey Type!!

Girl-Now, I have to tell you "I have BF".

Boy-Arey pagli tu to mere type ki nikli. Mere pas bhi 8GB hai.Chal Exchange karte hain.

Terms & Conditions :)

I never read any term and condition before signing any document because I have done an arranged marriage.

Words - OL :)

The words that have fooled most people ever 'I love you'.

Obstacle :)

The biggest Obstacle to Happiness is "Under Valuing" what we have and "Over Valuing" what others have

New position!!

Kamasutra has added a new position. It is called 'Manmohan'. It involves getting on top and then doing nothing.

Happiness :)

Happiness comes with a price tag. If you are smiling, you've already paid for it in past.

Obedient :)

To become an obedient son is optional. But to become an obedient husband is compulsory

Internet :)

Hubby: I have activated internet in your mobile so that u can be in touch with your Mother through WhatsApp. 

Wife: Honey, you just dig your own grave...

Common News!!

​​Most common News on Shanghai Times: Two brothers suffocated their father, misunderstood him as their mother's extra marital love.

Blonde Joke - Compact :)

Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar."

"Let me look." said the other one. So she handed her the compact.

The second blonde looked in the mirror then turned to the first one. "You dumbass -- that's ME!

Little Johnny -Married!!

Little Johnny (age 9) comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today. He says that he played baseball and then he proposed to Betty (age 7) the next door neighbor. They are going to get married.

His parents think this is cute, and they don't want to make fun of Johnny so they ask Little Johnny him, "How are you and Betty going to pay for the expenses of being married?"

He replies, "Well with the $1 I get each week from you and the $1 she gets from her Mom and Dad, we should do ok."

His father says "That's fine, but how will you pay the extra expenses if you and Betty have a baby?"

Little Johnny answers, "Well, so far, we've been lucky..."

Polite Way!!

A Cow said to her Milk Man politely:

Bas Bhi karo na..

Biwi Maike Gayi hai kya..??

Your problem :)

Punch of the day..!

Once a man asked god: Why all girls are so cute & sweet????? and All wife's are always angry???

God answered: Girls are made by me, and you make them wife...!!!

Your problem ... !!!

Prospective wife!!

A good family is most concerned that their 30 year old son is unmarried.

So, they call a marriage broker and ask him to find their son a good wife.

The broker comes over to their house and spends a long time asking questions of the son and his parents as to what they want in a wife/daughter-in-law. They give him a long shopping list of requirements.

The marriage broker takes a long time looking, and finally asks to visit the family again. He then tells them of a wonderful woman he has found. He says she's just the right age for the son. She regularly attends prayers and knows them by heart...she is a wonderful cook...she loves children and wants a large family. And, to crown it all of, she's gorgeous.

After hearing all this, the family is very impressed and begins to get excited about the prospects of a wedding in the near future.

But the son pauses and asks inappropriately: "Is she also good in bed?"

The marriage broker answers, "some say yes...some say no..........."

Motivation :)

​​Dedicated to all couples (Singles Excuse)

Always keep your wives/husbands picture as mobile screen saver. Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say: if I can handle this, I can handle anything!

​​

Little Johnny - An Orgy!!

One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying. So she called Little Johnny to recite in class.

"Little Johnny, answer this math question," she said. "If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?" 

"An orgy," answered Little Johnny.