Golf Lessons!

A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee while another foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tees.

The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it ten feet.

She goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five feet.

She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, "I guess all those fucking lessons I took over the winter didn't help."

One of the men immediately responds, "Well, there you have it, you should have taken golf lessons instead."

Regular :)

Jack Rogers was tired of his workplace and was looking for a new job. He tried hard to shake off his image as a person who was not sincere to his work. But the harder he tried, the more it kept following him.

One day while in office, the phone was ringing, and because the receptionist was not around, he picked up the phone.

"Hello", said the caller, "I want to make an inquiry about a person called Jack Rogers. This is with regards to an opening in my company. Do you know this man?"

Smiling to himself, Jack replied, "Yes of course I know him."

The caller asked, "Is he regular with his work? Is he punctual?"

Jack replied with all honesty, "Well, I am not too regular myself, but whenever I am here, he is here."

How did this happen!!

The family doctor, Dr. William asked the pregnant teen, "How did this happen?"

Tina replied, "Well, my parents had gone for a movie, that's when my friend Jack came home and one thing led to another."

Dr. William scolded her saying, "Why didn't you go with your parents for the movie?"

Tina replied, "It was an adult movie."

2 types!!

Girls are of two types:

1. Boring

2. Interesting

Boring are the ones who use umbrella even in sunlight;

And Interesting are the ones who forget Umbrella at home during rain!

Imagination!!

A lady rebels at a man, who is immodestly staring at her in a bus: Mister, you are staring at me as if you were undressing me in your imagination.

Man: Excuse me, lady! In my imagination, I have already dressed you up and had a smoke myself!

What happens if you open your email after many days

I Opened My Email Account after 10 days

15 banks are giving me  easy loans.

I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for UNKNOWN reasons.

10 Job companies have best jobs for me.

5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me. I am married.

Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure my hair fall & greying.

3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.

Approximate 200 mails from Aparna, Priya, Payal, Pooja & Neha who are feeling lonely and want to meet me.

I am feeling so blessed.......:)

Beer-belly!!

I was at the pub last night having a good time when this over-smart guy, pointing at my big beer-belly commented, "Foster's or Heineken?"

I said to him, "I have a tap below, if you are thirsty, you are welcome to taste it and find out for yourself."

Changing Times!!

The Changing Times:

1970 - 1985 = Sunny means Gavaskar

1985 - 2010 = Sunny means Deol

2010 - Current = Sunny means Leone

Kaam Teeno ka Thukai ka hi hai!

Secret Agent!!!

A foreign diplomat was sitting beside a very beautiful blonde who possessed all the social graces.

During the course of the dinner, he put his hand under the table and started to feel her ankle. She gave him a brilliant smile.

Encouraged, he went a little further and reached the calf of her leg with the same results. The lady smiled and he, becoming emboldened with this encouragement, went above the knees.

Very soon, giving the diplomat a lovely smile she leaned and whispered in his ear, "When you get far enough to discover that I'm a man, don't change the expression on your face - I'm Secret Agent No. 13."

The Girlfriend!!!

I got chatting with a girl in a bar, "Can I buy you a drink?" I asked.

"Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends".

""No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured her.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a white wine please.

A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle we headed off back to her place and made passionate love.

While I was putting my clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"

I said, "My wife found out."