911 Calls :)

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one 

Caller: Hi, is this the police? 

Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance? 

Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before. 

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency? 

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it. 

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. 

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one 

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. 

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. 

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency? 

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart. 

Dispatcher: Is this her first child? 

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband 

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one 

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn...I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? 

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn.... 

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? 

Caller: No 

Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing? 

Caller: Running from the police