Testimonials!!!

H​ave you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back​​or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....The last one is great!

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'

I turned around and walked back out and never went back

My husband didn't say a word...He knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes,I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.​ ​He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's b​​alls'

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a Variety of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case,The boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'My sister started to laugh hysterically.The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

To this day, My sister has never let me forget it.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.

I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future , likely think before she speaks.What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!

We had a female news anchor, the day after it was supposed to have snowed up to a couple of inches and didn't,She turned to the weatherman and asked:'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, as they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn't that feel good?