After 2 years of selfless service, I realized that I had not been promoted, no salary increment, no commendation.
So I decided to walk up to my HR Manager. The manager looked at me, smiled and asked me to sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked here for even a single day."
I was shocked to hear this !!!, but the manager went on to explain, and here's the conversation that took place.
Manager: How many days are there in a year?
Me: 365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager: How many hours make up a day?
Me: 24 Hours.
Manager: How long do u work in a day?
Me: 10 am to 6 pm (i.e 8 hours a day.)
Manager: So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Me: 8/24 i.e 1/3 (one third).
Manager: This is nice of you! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Me: 122 (1/3 x 366=122 days)
Manager: Do you come to work on weekends?
Me: No sir.
Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Me: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
Manager: Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days
do you now have?
Me: 18 days.
Manager: I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Me: 4 days.
Manager: Do you work on Republic Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: Do you come to work on Independence Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Me: 2 days Sir!
Manager: Do you come to work on New Years Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Me: 1 day sir!
Manager: Do you work on Diwali ?
Me: No Sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Me: None Sir!
Manager: So what are you claiming?
Me: I have understood, Sir. I did not realize that I was stealing company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!! (HR-HIGH RISK.)
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